Limericks

Wie die fünfzeiligen Scherzgedichte zu dem Namen der irischen Stadt gekommen sind, weiß niemand wirklich. Der erste bedeutende Verbreiter ist jedoch bekannt: Edward Lear. Und seither erfreuen sich Limericks in ganz Irland, England und dem Rest der Welt großer Beliebtheit. Why the five-lined comic poems bear the name of the Irish town, nobody really knows. But the first one to make them popular is well known: Edward Lear. And since then Limericks are favoured throughout Ireland, England and the rest of the world.

The Limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical.
   But the good ones I've seen
   So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

A diner while dining at Crewe
Found a rather large rat in his stew.
   Said the waiter: "Don't shout
   And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too."

The Irishmen said with a grouch,
'Tis winter when you sneeze and you slouch,
   You can't take your women
   In a canoe or swimming,
But a lot can be done on the couch!"

A young Irish lad like a giant
Who in sexual ways was just quaint,
   One day he went swimming
   With twelve naked women,
And deserted them all for a pint.

A young lad from near South Donegal
Who went to a Fancy Dress Ball
   Dressed up like a tree
   But he failed to foresee
His abuse by the dogs near the hall.

In Carlow a pretty young lass
Had a truly magnificent ass.
   Not rounded and pink
   As you possibly think,
It was brown, had long ears and ate grass!

God's plan made a hopeful beginning,
But Irishmen damned it by sinning.
   We hope that the story
   May end in God's glory.
But at present the Irishmen's winning!

A bather whose clothing was strewed
By winds, which left her quite nude,
   Saw a man coming along,
   And unless I am wrong,
You thought the next line would be lewd.

A novice was driving a car
So slow that his son said: "Papa,
   If you drive at this rate,
   We are bound to be late -
Drive faster!" He did - now they are.

Great-grandfather at Waterloo
Fought solidly all the day through;
   He slashed and he hacked,
   Through bodies tight-packed,
And managed to reach Platform Two.

I, Caesar, when I learned of the fame
Of Cleopatra, I straightway laid claim.
   Ahead of my legions
   I invaded her regions -
I saw, I conquered, I came.